Oct 22 2009

How to ruin your life

Published by The Fake Engineer at 8:03 pm under Chicks

The other day…

Dude: Is [so-and-so] busy?
Me: Naw, he isn’t busy.
Dude: Really?
Me: Naw, man. Do you want to know how to ruin your life?
Dude: How?
Me: You get a girlfriend, that’s how.
Dude: Haha.
Me: [So-and-so] just spends way too much time with his girlfriend.
Dude: Yeah, having a girlfriend is like taking a 40 unit class.

The day following the other day…I run into the dude and his girlfriend.

Dude: Hey, how’s it going?
Me: Hey…

Apparently he didn’t take my advice because it was already too late. Shakes head.

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that I need to clarify what I am saying.

Getting a girlfriend in itself will not ruin your life. However, chances are that getting a girlfriend will ruin your life. Why? People often get a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. That is, to many people a girlfriend is a “trading position” and not a “buy-and-hold.” To them, a girlfriend is like the latest hot stock. Like any hot stock, holding onto a girlfriend for too long will end in tears.

If you can find yourself a girlfriend that is a “buy-and-hold” and not a “trading position,” then I congratulate you. But for the rest of you, I say that you are ruining your life. On balance, people who chase hot stocks will lose money.

I fully intend to find a girlfriend that is a “buy-and-hold.”

To illustrate my point about about the “trading position,” here’s a conversation I overheard today:

Girl #1: [So-and-so] broke up with her boyfriend again.
Girl #2: What? Again? Another one? How long as it been? Just a few months?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: What happened?
Girl #1: He’s at Harvard and it’s a long distance relationship. She doesn’t want long distance.
Girl #2: So is she looking for another boyfriend?
Girl #1: I guess so.

Stupid hot stock chasers.

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